The Final TIME OUT
The FINAL TIME OUT
Has the past week been a little awkward saying so many good things about yourself? Do you feel like you’ve gotten a little stronger mentally? My genuine hope is that you gain strength every day through speaking your affirmations. The path to healing and freedom from your internal monologue is just a few short minutes away. You are Strong, You are Beautiful, You are Worthy. Let’s take that step together to dismantle that mountain rock by rock. I am right here with you, are you ready to take the next step?
Are you ready to finally break free from the second list? Are you really ready? Then we have got some serious work to do. This TIME OUT is for those who are truly ready to stop punishing themselves with their internal monologue.
I can only imagine what you have written down on this list. After all of the horrible things that I have heard women say about themselves out loud I can only begin to fathom the darkness that has rested locked up tight in your heart over the years. The rabbit hole does not spiral up.
Have you ever had a fleeting thought of not being enough that turned into thoughts of complete and total unworthiness or self hatred. It wasn’t just that a zit popped up 3 days before family pictures. I mean how can they even see the blemish if they can’t see past your chubby knees, why on earth did you pick that dress, you thought buying a new dress with a pop of blue would highlight your eyes and make you feel better in the photos and it coordinated so well with you daughter’s outfit. She’s the beautiful one, maybe we can just take pictures of her. Why did you spend money on that dress? Why did you spend the money on new pictures?Who do you think you are and why do you think you can just spend money on something that makes you feel better? Who do you think you are? You are fat, you are ugly, and no one wants to see photos of you anyway. No one even wants you around.
Does this sound familiar? Does it? I know it does, because I have been there, and this story is tame. Even going back through to proofread made my blood boil. Who gets to talk to you like that? Who are you going to continue to allow to talk to you like that? The answer should be no one. No one gets to talk to you like that any more. It stops now. This is the Final TIME OUT.
Have you ever noticed when you start to go down the rabbit hole to self destruction that you rarely think in first person? I have found that most of my clients have said no, they don’t think “I am too ugly,” they literally think in second person, “You are too ugly.” This is the most fascinating part of the second list. The significance of second person is the very key to your TIME OUT. Second person thoughts mean that someone else is feeding you this information. Your grandmother, your father, your school mates, your boyfriend, your doctor, the television you watch, the books you read, the music you listen too. Somehow you developed an image of what is acceptable through all of the information that has been available to you through the environments that you have lived in. Who is telling you these things? Where does your source of not thinking you are good enough come from?
FIRST-Find it-and cap it off immediately if you can. If this means taking a break from your favorite show for a period of time because you find that you compare yourself to the lead character, do that. If it means spending a little less time with your friends that mean well but continually make you feel inferior, do that. Take a TIME OUT from the source of what ever makes you feel worthless. Take a TIME OUT from sources that feed your self hatred. That will begin to give you the time that you need to heal. You do want to heal right? You don’t want to keep punishing yourself for not meeting someone else’s expectations. Or worse yet, the expectations that you think they have of you. Remember that you are in control of your TIME OUTS, no one else.
SECOND- When you have that fleeting thought, grab it and toss it out. Don’t follow the rabbit hole into the depths of self hate. The moment that thought pops in your head, immediately speak one of your affirmations that we made together from the first of these two lists. Speaking these affirmations out loud will continue to solidify the truths that you know deep down are accurate, but you haven’t allowed yourself to believe. You are good enough to believe the good about you! Speaking affirmations consistently builds new pathways of thought and over time will soften and flatten the ruts of the old pathways. Diminished ruts equal freedom of thought. Freedom from that painful internal monologue. You are on the brink of a major breakthrough! Can you feel it?