A Permanent TIME OUT - The Dream

Photo Credit : Ed Stewart Photography

Photo Credit : Ed Stewart Photography

A Permanent TIME OUT

If I would have known 21 years ago that I would have been sitting here with you and having this conversation, I would have kept a journal of all of the negative things that clients have told me about themselves over the years.  I would have kept it to show you that you are not alone in this world. That you are not alone in this journey to a permanent time out of self hatred. In my career I have worked with so many brilliant and talented people.  Even the most brilliant and talented people that I have worked with had a list of words that vexed or consumed them.  

I wish that I could tell you that this process was easy.  I wish that I could wave a magic wand and take away all of the hurt and pain that words have caused you over the years.  I wish that I could go back in time and tell 4 year old you that you are beautiful, that you are wonderful, that you are strong, and that you are worthy.  

Remember the Time Out you gave yourself last week?  Wasn’t that glorious? Would you like to have that freedom more often? You can, if you allow yourself. Over the next two weeks we are going to meet those lists head on and do the best we can to get you back on your own side.  For many that is what true freedom would feel like. Not spending hours upon hours each week consumed by the hurt and pain of how we allow ourselves to feel.  I am still right here, with you, at the base of your mountain. Do you have your lists?

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This week we are going to work on the list of things that you actually say out loud to yourself.  You most likely say these things frequently and with in earshot of others that you love, that also love you. You may not have even noticed that you say them because they are just a part of your normal daily diction.  They have become a part of who you are and you accept those words as a part of your identity now. The next generation hears you say these words and it is shaping them and identifying them as well. 

So how do we turn this around? How do we change this first for ourselves so the we can then impact the next generation? How do we take the lists in our hands and internalize a deep change that will impact our daughters and sons?  How do we rid ourselves of the lists in our hands and the burdensome weight that they have put on our heart. We have to make a conscious effort to rid ourselves of these words for the last time.  We need a permanent Time Out from the impact of words and we need to start taking that Time Out NOW.

Take your first list. This list usually stems from things you have heard others say. Possibly about you, or you witnessed them saying something about themselves, or even worse you’ve used them in reference to someone else. This is the list of everything that you think others believe about you. Let’s go through that list together, word by word.  With each word I want you to first ask yourself, is it true? Are you really fat? Are you really ugly? Are you really hideous?  No those things are not true about you. I have worked with thousands of people and I have yet to find these words to be true about any one of them. You do not have to accept them as a part of your identity. They are not your words to carry anymore.  

The next step is to go through the list and one by one draw a line through each word that has held you in a negative mindset. Next to that word I want you to write what the truth is.  What positive word can you use in place of these hurtful words?  If you wrote “I HATE Myself” Cross that bad boy off of your list and write “I LOVE Myself”.  Use your words to your advantage, every chance that you get. How else are we going to know the truth? How else will we be set free? 

Now, find a fresh clean sheet of paper.  Ignore the negative words, they do not belong to you anymore.  Copy only the positive words and create an affirmation for yourself. Turn your “My eyes are uneven” into “I Love my eyes,” or "I have Beautiful eyes”.  Make your positive affirmation list complete, don’t leave anything out.  Don’t leave anything hanging in the balance.

Completely destroy the list of negative words. When I say completely, I mean tear it to shreds. Don’t just wad it up, that does nothing to separate you from the ownership of those hateful words. Release yourself from owning the hurt that those words can cause one final time.

Lastly I want you to read your positive affirmation list out loud three times a day until we meet again. I cannot stress enough how important this is.  It may feel weird or even unbearable when you begin, but we need to get through this temporary awkwardness to help you begin to reframe your thoughts and stop settling for the mistreatment you have been punishing yourself with. We will get through this first week together. Next week we will tackle the other list, we need to remove the surface words first in order to take on the beast that is our internal monologue.

I would love to see you reading your positive affirmations on social media. I would also love to see a flood of pictures of your beautiful handwritten words. If you do snag a video or pic feel free to share it with me or tag me in it on Instagram @brandiepriceimage





Brandie PriceComment